Of OCs and Wii games
by Abyss-of-the-Deep
Summary: What happens when Matt, Mello, Near, B and L clash with the complete and utter randomness of a teenager's mind? Food fights, haunted mansions and scary stories, that's what! Also random movie/anime/internet meme references!
1. Who's Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

**PROLOGUE**

So this started out as a little drabble story my friend wrote for me about what would happen if the Death Note cast was in our world, like high school buddies. Anyway, it turned into another short story, and then into a sequel, so I decided to upload it. Me and my friend take turns writing chapters, e.g. I write chap 1, she writes chap 2 and so on. Also, apart from us, there's one more random OC named Beatrice, just cuz my friend wanted a girlfriend for Matt.

So here are the descriptions of the OCs and maybe characters too.

Claudia (Cloud) [Me]: So yeah, I'm the uploader. I'm in high school in fantabulous Toronto and I am a total Death Note fan. But my fave remains BB from the spin-off book (LABB murder cases). Also I luff Near, he's a cute little cuddly thing he is. Oh and in our eyes, Near's 7 or 8, just cuz that's soo much cuter :3. Uhm...I like to assume I'm smart...and I love to draw/read and many other teenage things. Uhm what do I look like...I have goldish strawberry-blonde hair which is uncontrollably curly and a bit longer then shoulder-length. I have green eyes and I'm a bit shorter then average. I love wearing black :P and my awesome Stewie sweater and L necklace. But I'm boring you, so moving on!

Andriet (Andy) [my friend/co-writer]: She's the one who inspired the idea of a random little fanfic. She goes to the same high school as me, though we don't have any classes together except for gym (yuck). Also, we're like twins from perpendicular worlds. We both play piano, speak/are Russian, know more French then most people, we love anime and much more. Except, one thing contradicting this theory is that she loves L and I love B, but whatevuh :P . She has long blondish wavy hair, like waist length and brown eyes. She's taller than me...in her couture boots :P. She has been described as a punk, goth, emo, tomboy and girly. Personally, I think she's a bit punk, but she's too happy/hyper to be goth or emo, and she's not a tomboy nor is she a girly-girl, so I dunno. Lolz, I luffs you Andy 3 XD.

Beatrice: She just a random character Andy made up to give Matt an extremely annoying girlfriend whom everybody (except Matt, I guess) hates. She has pretty black hair. ... That's basically all I know. Oh, and she's _very_ annoying. _**Very.**_

The rest of the characters are the same I suppose. L/B/Mello/Matt aren't dead. Or are they?...kidding! Near is cute and cuddly and I'd say about 7 or 8.

OH! And a VERY important note, pairings are:

LxAndy

BxCloud

MattxBeatrice

and Mello and Near are single. Near has an excuse, but Mello...lol I like to tease him :P

ON WITH THE STORY!

**CHAPTER 1: WHO'S SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?**

Prologue- So here's what's happening: Everyone is in Cloud's basement, playing on her Wii. The people there are L, B, Andy, Cloud, Beatrice (unfortunately), Near, Matt and Mello [Light isn't in this story because he did not qualify to be in my basement. :P] There are only two remotes for the Wii, so Cloud split them up into teams:

Team L Team B

Andy Cloud

L(awliet) B(eyond)

Mello Near

Beatrice Matt

"Hey, why the Hell do we have to get Bea?!" Andy shouts at Cloud.

"Because, it's _my_ Wii." Cloud responds calmly, looking over her shoulder to see Mello desperately trying to pull Bea off Matt.

"NO!! I WANNA BE WITH MY MATTY-KINS!!!" Bea shrieks at the top of her lungs. Any higher, and the windows would shatter.

"I hate you..." seethes Andy.

"Aw, you'll get over it" Cloud brushes her off. While L is trying to calm down his fuming girlfriend, Cloud and B go to pick out a game. Once everyone sees them there, a shouting debate begins:

"Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader!" (Near)

"CSI!" (B)

"Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games!" (Cloud)

"Super Mario Galaxy!" (Matt)

"Dance Dance Revolution!" (Andy)

"NiGHTS!" (Bea)

"Carnival!" (L)

"COOKING MAMA!" (...Mello...)

". . ." Everyone stares at Mello for a good five minutes. "What?" He says, "it's a good game!"

"Sure it is Mello...and B _didn't_ poison and choke the English teacher..." Andy says, looking at B out of the corner of her eye.

"I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about" B responds, adding in a whisper "she deserved it!"

After about half an hour of debating, they finally decide on Dance Dance Revolution and Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.

DDR started out ok, Andy and Cloud totally pwned everybody, but chaos ensued after Near tripped over his baggy pajamas and landed face-first into L's cheesecake. Andy bursted out in laughter until Cloud punched her (fairly hard) on the shoulder and went to comfort poor Near. Andy couldn't help but giggle to herself, and unintentionally caused everyone else to laugh too. But they all shut-up after Cloud threatened to kick them out of her house into the rain.

After many repeats of 99 Red Balloons, Burn Baby Burn and Love Shine, when everyone was exhausted (and when Near developed a cake-shaped bruise on his forehead), they switched the games to Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.

On that faithful day, Mello and Cloud realized that 'Y' actually counted as a vowel. Who knew? Apparently everybody. Also, as it turns out, Bea didn't know that Africa was a continent. But that's understandable...no, not really but whatever. Everything was going fine, the two teams were tied at the Million Dollar Question. That's when things when awry.

That blasted Grade 5 Art question...True or False? Onyx is a colour, not a shade.

It was B vs L, the final show-down...over a video game.

It was silent, all through the house (not creature was stirring, not even a mouse, lol).

Simultaneously, B presses True, and L presses False.

They lock in.

Jeff Foxworthy begins: "And the correct answer is..."

***BOOM!***

Thunder echoes through the house as lightning strikes not a second later.

The screen goes black.

L and B's mouthes fall open as Andy falls off the couch, dragging Cloud down with her. All was eeriely silent apart from Cloud's quiet "ow".

"TRUE!" Jeff pops back onto the screen.

"WHAT?!?" L yells at the TV. "Oh, in your face!" B taunts.

"No, no way, there's no way that I could be wrong!" L mumbles to himself, fidgeting with the Wii remote and pacing back and forth as B's team congratulates him and Cloud gives him a celebratory kiss on the cheek.

"I've got it!" L suddenly declares. "The game must be wrong!"

"You keep telling yourself that, Law-lee-ette." B retorts in a mocking tone, knowing fully well that Lawliet is pronouced "low-light".

"Oh, that's it!" L takes his leftover cheesecake and flings it across the room at B.

"Oh no you di-in't!" Mello and Cloud say at the same time.

"Heh heh, you asked for it..." B takes the jar of jam that Cloud hands him and whips a handful of it at L's whole team.

"Nicely done!" Cloud and B high-five.

"Oh you may have won the battle..." L begins

"But now, this is war!" Andy finishes for him.

* * *

And thus, a food fight big enough to go down in history began in Cloud's poor basement.

To Be Continued.

~ Teehee, so this chapter was written by me at about 11:30 pm last night :P. Yes, food fights are awesome fun. I have another chapter in progress, but some ideas for future chapters would be nice. Also, reviews are highly appreciated :3 ~

{~*Cloud*~}


	2. Cleanups and Breakups

**CHAPTER 2: CLEAN-UPS AND BREAK-UPS**

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death Note...though I wish I did.

Cloud didn't let _anybody_ leave until the basement was spotless once again. She didn't even know she had the food that was now all over the TV, sofas, table, rug, floor and most importantly, her brand new piano!

"Oh come on!" Whined Bea, "it's all L's fault anyway, why do _we_ have to clean up?!"

"What do you mean 'it's all my fault?'" L said, snapping out of a trance.

"She _means_," B answers, "that if you weren't a _sore loser_ none of this would've happened!"

"And how about you? You threw freakin' JAM at us! Do you know how long that's gonna take to get out of my hair?!" Andy snaps at him.

"That's not my problem." says B, a little too arrogantly. Cloud sees the imaginary smoke coming out of Andy's ears and suddenly fears that the chaos isn't over yet.

"Guys! Can we save the cat-fights until AFTER we clean up?!" she yells.

"Oh, and it was just getting interesting" pouts Mello.

"Ok, Mello, you want some excitement? Go mop the floor!" Cloud spazzes at him, shoving a mop in his face.

"Whoa, someone's PMSing..." Mello says, taking the mop. Cloud takes a few deep breaths and tries her hardest to not stuff Mello into the garbage can.

Over at the other side of the room, L is studying the Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader manual and muttering something under his breath.

"Still can't get over it, can you?" B says nonchalantly, walking over to L.

"La la la, I can't hear you..." L childishly responds.

"B, have you ever considered that maybe L was distracted or something?" Matt asks.

"What could he possibly have been distracted by?" ponders B. Matt looks over at Andy, who just now realizes what he said and turns redder than a tomato.

"As I said," B starts "what could he have possibly have been distracted by?"

"HEY! Did you just call me ugly?!" Andy almost yells, walking over to where B and L were.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't _say_ that..." says B. Mello, overhearing what was going on (and frankly, quite bored of mopping the endless floor) shouts "Hey Cloud! Your boyfriend just called Andy ugly!"

Cloud turns around and faces them all. She looks from B to L to Andy to Matt and finally to Mello.

"ARG! That's IT! I can't take this anymore!" She shouts and stomps up the stairs, slamming the door.

"Ohhh, you guys did it now..." Near says, who everyone seems to have forgotten about.

"Shut up, Near, you're not even part of this!" Mello yells at him.

"You're right, I am merely an observer" Near smiles. Mello ignores that comment and turns to Andy.

"What are we gonna do now?" he sighs.

"Well _obviously_ B has to go apologize" says Andy.

"Me? Why me?"

"'Cause this time, it's _you're _fault" L begins, finally seeing his chance to shut B up, "Cloud was already mad, but your comment towards Andy was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Ooh, nice metaphor" Near complements.

"What the Hell, Near? You shouldn't even be talking, you have a freakin bruise on your head...from a freakin cake!" Andy snaps at him.

"Yes, I am aware of that." Near calmly responds, curling a piece of hair around his finger. "I wonder where Cloud went..." he wonders aloud.

Elsewhere, somewhere on the second floor, Cloud locks herself in the computer room.

"You guys done cleaning up already?" Bea asks, having nothing better to do. The sudden sound made Cloud jump up.

"What, oh no, there were some conflic---wait. Bea, what the Hell are you doing here??"

"My nail broke from cleaning, so I came up here. Took ya long enough to notice. So, you had a fight?" Bea asks.

"How, how did you know?" Cloud was very confused by that point.

"...I could hear you guys." She replied.

"Yeah, well...I wanna be alone, ok? So like go help Matt or something." Cloud said, trying to get rid of Bea.

"AKAY!" Bea scurries off back to the basement. Cloud sighed. She sometimes wished that her and B were more like Andy and L. Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Cloud? You in there?" It was B. Cloud wondered what she should do.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I shouldnt've called Andy ugly...though I didn't. And I shouldnt've been a sore loser...though I wasn't and---"

"Ok, B, I get it." Cloud cut him off and opened the door. Hugs were exchanged and they went back to the mess in the basement.

***

To. Be. Continued.

~ Ok, so, here's the next chappie as promised. As I said before, me and Andy take turns making chapters, so she wrote me one during our Health class (we were watching a video about...drugs) and then I de-cheesed it...and then I lost it. So this chapter was what I remember :P So yeah, the next chapter idea will come from the reviews. So far a good idea is a haunted house...or maybe an amusement park... Next chapter should be up soon, and again, reviews are highly appreciated ~

{~*Cloud*~}


	3. Tap Tap Tap

**CHAPTER 3: TAP TAP TAP**

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Death Note...if I did, I'd add B into it :3. Also, some of the stories mentioned are from Lenko-Biscuit's Rocket Crotch Halloween from Newgrounds. Oh and the Nintendo DS is trademark Nintendo.

About a week after the incident in chapters 1 and 2, the gang was gathered again at Cloud's house, bored once more. Cloud vowed to NEVER let anyone into the basement ever again.

It was a dull Saturday morning, Cloud, B and L were watching the news, Andy was reading a newspaper, Near was stacking a tower of dice, Matt was busy playing on Cloud's pink Nintendo DS® and Mello was raiding Cloud's kitchen cupboards for even a crumb of chocolate.

"The body of Amy-Lee Mai was found washed up by the river bank last night" Andy reads aloud from the paper, "doctors have confirmed that she died from severe asphyxiation, most likely from a wire. It appears that she was given a high dose of a depressant that is currently unidentified. She was slit multiple times across her arms and legs in different patterns, one that highly resembles a percentage symbol (%). She was an English teacher at a Vaughn high school and will be dearly missed."

Everyone looks at B, who scoffs under his breath something along the lines of "yeah right, she'll be missed." When he noticed the intense stares of his friends, he pretends to look hurt.

"How could you possibly think so horribly of me?" B says in a fake hurt tone "I would never do something like that to our beloved Ms. Mai."

Seeing right through B's innocent act, L says "Beyond, you are indeed 99.9% guilty."

"That's it mister!" Cloud kids, pointing an accusing finger at B, "no more jam for you!"

"What? No! That's not fair!" B pouts.

"Hey! Everybody shut up and listen to this:" Andy shouts "Abandoned mansion up on Obsidian Hill is said to be..." she adds in a whisper; "haunted."

Matt shut the DS with an audible **snap**. "Dude, we totally have to go there!"

"That's a great idea!" Mello says, giving up on his quest for chocolate (which he couldn't find).

"Is..is it r—really h—h—haunted?" Near said, slightly spooked, accidently knocking over his two-foot tower of dice.

"Aw, isn't that cute, Near's scaaared." Mello taunted him.

"Do _not_ go there Mello" Cloud said defensively.

"No, but that would be pretty awesome" Says Andy, scanning the article for an address.

"Then it's settled" L says "we're spending the night on Obsidian Hill."

***

They arrived at the mansion at around eleven o'clock (pm, duh) and set up their sleeping bags next to the fireplace in the living room. The mansion was huge and dark. The only light was coming from the rusty chandelier above their heads and the toasty fire.

"This feels just like Halloween!" Mello exclaims.

"Let's tell scary stories!" Cloud offers.

"Sounds like a plan." Says Matt, propping himself up on one elbow, miraculously without a video game in hand.

"Oh, oh me first!" Shouts Mello "my story is called The Lady of the Water. **Ahem** One night, I saw something moving in the swimming pool. Looked like a naked lady! Turns out, it was Matt! I was scarred for life! The end."

"That was shit." said Andy, emotionless.

"I'd like to see you do better then, you slag" Mello says, getting angry.

"I liked it, Mel" said Matt.

"Thanks, at least someone appreciates high quality storytelling--" Mello was cut off by B's snickering. "Stop f***ing laughing!"

"My turn!" says L, pulling out a sugar cube. "When I was a little boy, England was a dark place. There were many rumours floating around about Raving Red Ronny. A man who ate people's eyes for breakfast."

"Haha, buuuuuullshit!" B says.

"You're right lads!" A man with a weird bloody mask suddelny appears behind Mello.

**AHHHHHHHHH**! Screams Mello.

"Don't worry guys, I don't eat eyes anymore. I just stick to these Jelly Tots! Toodles!" With that, he leaves.

Mello sighs "Well that was---"

"BOO!" yells B, right in his ear.

**AHHHH **"F*** YOU!"

"You want a piece of me, blondie?" B chuckles.

"Ok, ok, my turn!" Says Matt "This is the tale of Dorothy Black. There was once a woman named Dorothy Black. She was a weird crazy psycho lady. She liked killing...and eating bugs. Until one day, killing and eating bugs wasn't enough. She started killing and eating _people_. She went on a killing spree about 100 years ago. But she was captured and locked in a mental institution--" He was cut of by Mello yelling "Matt, she's not real you massive gay!"

"Kay Andy, you seem emotionless today, why don't you tell a story?" Says Cloud.

"Ok" agrees Andy "This story is called 'tap tap tap.'"

"Ooh, my favourite!" exclaims B.

Near cringed at that and quietly said to himself "that can't be good..."

"Shut up! Ok, so" Andy began "There was this couple driving down the road, and they took a short cut through the forest. Not seeing a fallen tree on the road since it was already so dark, the guy crashes into it. The whole front of the car is smashed, so he tells his girlfriend to stay there while he looks for a garage or a tow truck. She girl hesitates, but agrees.

"After the boyfriend is gone for 15 minutes, the girl begins to get restless, so she turns on the radio. She surfs it until she stumbles across a warning bulletin. It says that a deranged maniac has escaped a near-by mental hospital and he is armed and extremely dangerous. The girl realizes that the hospital is only about 5 minutes from where she was now and starts getting nervous. She locks all the doors and double checks the windows.

"A little while later, after her boyfriend has been gone for nearly half an hour, the girl hears something.

**Tap Tap Tap.**

It sounds like it's coming from the roof of the car, but she can't be sure. And there it goes again:

**Tap Tap Tap.** (as Andy does this, she taps on the floor with her fingers.)

"By now, the girl is very anxious and tries calling her boyfriend's cell. No signal. She turns up some music on the radio to calm herself down. No deal, she still hears it once again;

**Tap Tap Tap.**

This tapping continued for about 10 minutes, the girl getting more and more scared each time. Finally, she hears the blaring of sirens from behind her. Three police cars stop behind the car. An officer steps out and says into to a bullhorn: 'Miss, please get out of the car slowly and walk over to me. While you walk, whatever you do, **do not look back.**' So the girl slowly gets out of the car and starts walking towards the police officer. She still hears it faintly behind her;

**Tap Tap Tap.**

5 steps. She doesn't look back. 10 steps. She doesn't look back. 15 steps. She's standing next to the officer now. Curiousity and anxiety build up inside her and she looks back over her shoulder.

"And there, on the roof of her car, she sees a bloody man in a broken straight jacket sitting in a weird position. He's holding a stick. And on that stick is her boyfriend's severed head. He bangs it on the roof.

**Tap Tap Tap.**"

Everyone is staring wide-eyed at Andy, who's face is still totally emotionless. Except for B of course, who has a big grin plastered on his face. Near is permanently attached to Cloud, shaking with fear. Mello's chocolate falls right out of his hand.

Suddenly, from the floor above them, they hear:

**Tap Tap Tap.**

***

~ OMG CLIFF HANGER!!! To tell you the truth, I was gonna finish it on this chapter, but then I thought it would be too long...Plus, everybody loves cliff hangers, right? Right? Yeah. So the next chappie's gonna be up soon, and it's gonna be my fave! And again, special thanx to Joel (Lenko-biscuit) for letting me use some of his stories (NOT tap tap tap, that was is MINE!). Once more, reviews are highly appreciated 3 ~

{~*Cloud*~}


	4. Behind Closed Doors

**CHAPTER FOUR: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS...**

**Disclaimer: **OMFG I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!!! Not even me...

"Holy crap, what the Hell was that?!" Mello jumped up nearly two feet in the air, landing on his butt. Even Andy looked a little shaken, but not nearly as much as Near, who was clinging on to Cloud's arm a little too tightly. B, on the other hand, still had that same grin on plastered on his face, eyeing the stairs to the second floor.

"One way to find out..." he chuckled darkly, getting up "who wants to check out the second floor?"

". . ." was the reaction that he got from the others, until Matt broke the silence.

"Wicked awesome!" He said, getting up as well.

"Well it's not like we're gonna get any sleep anyway, might as well..." Cloud reasoned. She walked over to the two other boys, dragging an unwilling Near behind her. Andy and L looked at each other, shrugged, and hesitantly walked over the group gathered by the staircase. The only one left by the fireplace was Mello, white in the face.

"Oh, Hell no! I ain't going up there!" He said fiercely "you guys go ahead, I'll stay here, where it's safe!"

"Suit yourself, Blondie" B said, adding an excited "let's go!" As he turned, Mello shouted;

"Don't call me that!!!"

B chuckled and started up the creaking, winding staircase. Matt was marching bravely behind him, humming the tune to 'Halloween.' Cloud followed closely, side by side with Near, who looked even paler than usual. In the back were Andy and L, who were both totally emotionless.

The hallway on the second floor seemed unending, with dozens of doors on either side.

"If we were to check each room together, one after another, we would be here all night" L said "we should split up."

"Well said, my insomniac friend!" Matt exclaimed "I'll take the last door the right!"

"NO!" Yelled Near. "The bad things always happen when the group splits up!"

"Near, this isn't an episode of Scooby Doo" said Andy "besides, you can stay with Cloud. Me and L will go this way" she pointed towards the left end of the hallway.

"Ok then, me and Near will go to the middle room." Cloud said, despite Near's protests.

"That leaves the attic for me!" B said, with a sparkle in his eye.

* * *

Matt entered the at room at the very end of the hallway. He opened the door which in turn creaked loudly. Inside the room was a sofa, a desk, a chair and a huge chest. Ignoring the other furniture, Matt walked straight towards the ancient-looking chest. There was a huge gold lock on it, but it appeared to be broken. Matt reached for it and snapped it off. He opened the chest and yelled out;

"WHAT THE F---"

* * *

Andy and L stepped in to the room on the far left of the corridor.

"Whoa..." L's mouth fell open at the sight in front of them.

"This is...whoa..." Andy added, unable to find a better word.

The walls of the room were covered in newspaper clippings, photos, print-outs and more. Each one was of a different murder, suicide or homicide. One thing linking them all together was that each of them was unsolved.

"Hm, these look awfully familiar...it's at the tip of my tongue..." Andy said.

"I agree, these do seem familiar." L nodded. "Oh my God, I think I know..."

"Well? What?" Andy prodded "wait...you don't mean..."

"Absolutely." L nodded once more.

"Holy Sh--"

* * *

In the middle room, Cloud was trying to open the closet while Near was rummaging through desk drawers, which he found to be totally empty. He joined Cloud in her quest of opening the closet. Finally, the knob became loose and fell off completely, and the door creaked open.

Expecting something to jump out at them, Near quickly backed away. But to their surprise, it was spotless. Not a speck of dust, lest anything else.

"Oh." Near said "well that was slightly disappointing."

"Would you rather there be a skeleton?" Asked Cloud, jokingly.

"No!" yelped Near, jumping a bit. "I'll see if there's anything over here" he said, bravely walking over to a night table in the corner of the room.

"Sure thing. Hey, there seems to be something else here…" Cloud said, almost to herself, as Near didn't hear.

"Hey Cloud, look! I found a--Cloud? Where are you?" Asked Near, looking around the room. No response. "Cloud, this isn't funny, where are you??" He said, starting to panic.

Near ran out of the room shouting "SHE'S GONE!!!"

Frantically, L and Andy run out of their room and Matt comes out of his, carrying a pile of DVD cases.

"Near, what's wrong?" Andy asked, trying to calm him down "where's Cloud?"

"THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT!" He yelled.

"Calm down, she's probably fine…" L said, adding "Matt, what are those?"

"You guys, will _never_ believe this!" Matt said, excitedly "I found the _biggest_ collection of Invader Zim episodes ever! It has _every_ single episode!"

"Invader…Zim?" Asked L, but he was interrupted by a sound coming from a hall closet next to them.

"Wh--what's that?" Asked Near, panicking again.

"Well," L calmly responded "by the sounds of it, I'd say someone was making out in there…B's still in the attic, and by process of elimination, the only people that aren't here are Mello and…"

"CLOUD?!" Andy yelled in disbelief, kicking the door open. But, fortunately, Cloud wasn't among the…objects there. Mello was there, indeed…with a

Mop.

Silence.

Dead silence.

Not a single sound.

Except approaching foot steps.

"Hey guys, guess what? The closet in that room has a hidden passage to a bathroom, and---what the Hell? Seriously." Cloud said, dumbfounded, reaching the group. Before anyone could say anything, they heard a loud scream coming from the attic. Followed by a 'get away!' and a 'what are you doing with th---' which was cut off.

"Guys? That's sounds like B…"

* * *

~ Teehee I love torturing you with cliff hangers! If you haven't figured out the clues yet, don't worry, it will all be pieced together soon…I hope -_-' So yeah, this chapter was written by me as well, just to end the cliff hanger, well now it turns out I've got another one to take care of. Sorry for making you all wait so long, I hope it was worth it! 3 Reviews are what keep me going :3 ~

{~*Cloud*~}


	5. I Don't Like This Game

CHAPTER 5: I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME...

Disclaimers: will be said at the end so that plot twists will not be given away...

***

*screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech*

B awoke to irritating static coming from another room. Room? Where was he? The static turned into ear-piercing screeching, so much so that B had to cover his ears. He lazily scratched his head in a confused manner, slightly wincing at the hideous screeching sound. Mouthing the words 'what the hell?' he looked around the room.

The room in question was a strange room indeed. With walls the colour of sleet with a touch of green and cracks coming from the floor it was not a pleasant site. On the wall, smack in the middle, hung a few...

"Hair?" B didn't know whether to be confused of disgusted. "What the Hell...?" he said aloud this time.

The screeching noise was still belching out unbearable frequencies, so, with nothing better to do, B decided to follow the sound. He found himself in yet another uninviting chamber, except this time there was a chair and wooden table in the center. On top of the table stood a broken radio and a random bag of pebbles. {Author's note: Those of you who know what I'm getting at should have figured it out by now...}

The noise was enough to make anyone go mad, and it seemed to get louder. B's confusion turned to aggravation as he made his way towards the radio. Standing now beside the machine, he smashed it as hard as possible with his fist, shutting it up once and for all.

B let out a sigh of relief, but caught his breath once more when he heard approaching footsteps coming from afar. Feeling a bit shaken, B bit his tongue, hoping his attack on the radio wasn't too loud. Realizing that it was, since the footsteps continued, he sprinted to a new room opposite the first. From behind him, he could hear "Where've you gotten to??"

B was now in what seemed like a meat locker with hooks both walls. He now realized what a bad idea it was, running into that room, since he was now basically trapped. From just outside the door, B heard "Hubert Cumberdale, it seems our first guest has disappeared. Let's search for him, shall we?"

There was a pause... "You're absolutely right!"

'Oh great' thought B 'there's two of them!'

Into the room wandered a strange looking creature, with green skin, red eyes, gross teeth, a horrible hunchback and three long hairy fingers. {What a twist!}

"There you are! Hmmm, you can be called... Herman Sourpickle! I'm hosting a little get together, would you like to join?"

B wasn't really afraid anymore, just utterly confused.

'What should I do?' he thought to himself 'this guy could be a total nut job! In which case, I don't want to get him mad...I guess I'll go along with it.' B opened his mouth to say something, but the green thing cut him off.

"Why I'd love too! R-replied Herman Sourpickle." with that he began walking from the room "I hope you like...SAND."

Shutting his mouth, B stood there, dumbfounded, trying to figure out what to do. He looked above the creature's head and read 'Salad Fingers.' He followed...Salad Fingers...outside where a gross-looking picnic had been set up. Sitting down, Salad Fingers gestured towards the 'food' and said "I hope you d-don't mind, but the f-floor sugar tastes rather queer in-in this area..."

Fearing for his sanity, B realized that he had to get out of there.

"Uh, yeah that's great and whatnot, but I really have to...go..." he said. That's when things truly went wrong. SF grabbed his ears and angrily stood up. Mumbling something to himself, he grabbed B by the wrist.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doin--" B was cut off by duct tape.

Oh yes. This could not get any worse. Or could it?

***

~ Ok you guys, I was sure I had given up on this thing, but today I was looking over the reviews of the previous chapter and felt a tinge of sadness. All your nice reviews deserved a chapter 5 :3 So enjoy, and if you liked it, review as always :) ~

Disclaimers: I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE! Salad Fingers belongs to David Firth XD Special thanks to Sammy Beckle for helping me tremendously with this chapter and for forcing me to upload it.

p.s. Whoever knows Salad Fingers, kudos to you. Whoever doesn't: a) your life has no meaning and b) go here: .com/collection/saladfingers and watch all 8 episodes.

{~*Cloud*~}


	6. Are Those My Only Options?

**CHAPTER 6: ARE THOSE MY ONLY OPTIONS?**

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Imagine yourself sitting on a chair. Now imagine that you're sitting on this chair outside, in the middle of nowhere. Still with me? Now then, imagine that you are tied to this chair with infinite amounts of sickly rope that is slowly cutting off the circulation to your f*cking brain. We're not done yet...Now imagine your mouth is taped shut with a hairy piece of duct tape which has been god-knows-where. And finally, imagine a psychopathic, hunchbacked green thing pacing in front of you, going on about some nonsense.

Welcome to Beyond Birthday's reality at the moment.

As you will remember, B has been kidnapped by a quirky fellow named Salad Fingers. As you will also remember, B made the foolish mistake of saying something. And, as you would hopefully know, our chap Salad Fingers doesn't tolerate other people's voices very much.

And that's how we end up with this predicament.

"No no no...no n-no...th-this s-simply won't do..." Salad Fingers murmured to himself, pacing back and forth not two meters away from where Beyond sat.

Meanwhile, B's genius brain was at a total halt. Not only did he not know where the hell he was, but this-this THING had him tied to a chair! Of course, he could easily escape the bindings, but, truth be told, he was a little interested as to what might the green thing do next. So he just sat there, crimson eyes narrowed on Salad Fingers.

"NO! I-I can't! I sh-shalnt! I must--I must GO!" Salad Fingers suddenly exclaimed, surprising his captive prisoner. And then, he ran off.

As soon as B couldn't see his green captor anymore, he quickly removed the ropes and ripped off the duct tape, wincing at the sudden pain.

'Now then,' he thought to himself 'how the hell do I get out of here?'

***

Back at the so-called haunted mansion, the 'gang' was desperately searching for their beloved serial killer. After fifteen long minutes, they met up in the attic where B had disappeared. Mello, heartbroken at losing his precious mop, was even more grumpy then usual.

"He's nowhere to be seen! Agh, this is so frustrating!! Shit, I need some chocolate." he whined and stomped his foot little a little kid.

Ignoring his blond companion completely, L said "I propose we split up again."

"Oh yeah, coz that worked sooo well last time, right genius?" Mello spazzed at him, fidgeting with an imaginary chocolate wrapper.

"L's right" said Andy "we might as well split up."

"If anything happens just yell as loud as possible." Cloud said, putting on a brave face, despite being worried sick about Beyond.

"You d-don't think there's s-something else here...do you?" Near mumbled, becoming frightened again.

"As our pal B would say; one way to find out!" Andy suddenly exclaimed, grabbing L's arm "now let's go!"

Andy marched away down the stairs, pulling L with her. Looking around the group, Cloud followed with Near close behind. Mello huffed and made his way to the abandoned kitchen to search for chocolate.

Unaware to anything going on, Matt was still looking through the huge collection of Invader Zim DVDs he found earlier. Looking up, he realized he was alone. He figured everybody else was downstairs, so, without hurry, he got up. He looked out the attic window and saw a small shed halfway down the hill not too far away.

Too lazy to tell the rest of the group that he's going to the shed, Matt made his way out of the mansion and down Obsidian Hill, stopping in front of the shed.

"Hello?" Matt gently knocked on the door, which opened with a creak. Shrugging off any fear and lighting a cigarette, the red-head stepped into the rickety shed.

"WHOA!" He suddenly yelled out, falling down a trap door in the floor. He hit his head on something metallic and everything went black.

***

Beyond was long gone when Salad Fingers returned to where he left his captive and the chair. Holding up an old finger puppet, he said; "Why, J-Jeremy Fisher, it-it appears th-that our friend has f-fled."

Then he nodded, seemingly to nothing and continued "Well we have n-nothing l-left to do, I-I'm sure he will re-return." He paused, waiting for the puppet's imaginary response. "Brilliant idea, J-Jeremy Fisher! L-let me just g-grab my Nettle C-carrier!"

And with that, he proceeded to go...nettle collecting.

***

"Oww..." Matt murmured, opening his eyes. "Where am I?"

He realized that he was laying on a table, his hands bound in shackles above his head and his feet in the same position, stretched out in front of him. [~AN: NO you disgusting fangirls, this ISN'T what you think!] Beside his feet were also two red buttons.

"What the hell...?" Matt wondered aloud. He turned his head to the other side to see a TV next to a door. Suddenly, on the screen, appeared a freaky-looking puppet, with a white face, black hair, bulls-eye cheeks and red eyes. *Cue the SAW music!*

"Hello Mail." Said the puppet, in a freakishly deep voice. "All your lif--"

"Actually," Matt cut him off "I go by Matt. Sorry for interrupting you, please go on."

"Uhh...okay..." the puppet continued "As I was saying, all your life you have been--"

"Hey hey wait!" Matt cut him off once more. "Aren't you uhh...wait it'll come to me..."

"WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH?!" The puppet got mad.

"I GOT IT! You're the uh, that um Jigsaw killer, right? Oh my god, B will totally flip when I tell him this!" Matt paid no attention to the fact that he was strapped to a Medieval 'rack' and kept going on about how much B talked about him.

"Good lord, will you please SHUT UP!" The puppet went off the screen and was replaced by an old man.

"Huh?" Matt looked puzzled. "Who are you?"

"I _am_ the Jigsaw Killer you teenage BUFFOON!"

"Okay, okay, no need for insults, old man." Matt huffed.

"If you would just shut your trap for a SECOND, I'd tell you that in about 2 minutes you will be ripped apart by this rack table, unless you push those red buttons." The exasperated old man said.

"Oh, well that's easy." Said Matt, looking down at his feet.

"I wasn't finished!!" The man half-yelled glaring through the screen. "IF you press those buttons, your feet will instantly be chopped off. Live or die, make your choi--"

"Well how the HELL am I supposed to live without my feet?!" Complained the red-head. "I mean SERIOUSLY! Do people actually go for this stuff? Ok, let's say I agree to press your stupid buttons, and my feet will be f*cking chopped off. Won't I just die from blood loss?!"

"Well...I...hmm" The man on the screen was surprised by the gamer's question.

"You're not sure, are you?"

"No..no I guess not." Jigsaw seemed disappointed in himself.

"So come on, let me go." Matt offered.

"What? Oh god no! I don't care what you do, I'll just work harder on the next one!" Jigsaw stood by his choice with pride.

"But, but..." Matt tried to stall "you never told me what I did!"

"Oh, right. Well--"

*THUD*

The door slammed open, cracking the TV.

A figure stepped into the dark room, who seemed to be confused. Matt tried to make out what he was seeing. He saw messy hair...a baggy shirt...and red eyes!

"B!" Matt exclaimed.

"Matt? What the hell is going on here?" Beyond questioned, looking around and noticing Matt's current predicament and the cracked TV behind the door.

"You will never believe what just happened to me!" Said Matt, anxious to tell B about Jigsaw.

"Shyeah, I had quite an adventure myself." Beyond nodded, getting Matt out of shackles.

***

After story time and happy reunions back in the mansion, everyone was gathered in the living room once more, getting ready to leave.

Just as Cloud turned the handle, she realized that it wasn't budging.

"Oh shit, not again." She said, tugging on the handle. Suddenly, an echoing voice bellowed through the old house.

"Oh no, you guys aren't going anywhere..."

~ Hurray, I'm back! I'm sitting currently in a hotel room in downtown Toronto. Ya know, the CN Tower can truly inspire a girl! ;) Anyway, after the last chapter, many people guessed Saw, so, being a total Saw fan myself, I decided to squeeze in my fave cancer-ridden jigsaw killer. Yes yes I know, for you Saw fanatics, that the original Saw is indeed dead, (omg spoilers) but screw it, I don't care. I also luff Matt, so I made this chapter more or less about him. Also B. And Saw. And Salad Fingers. Yay Nettles! What are those anyway? Whatever. Anyways, reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I'd appreciate it! ~

{~*Cloud*~}

P.S. I don't own Death Note, Salad Fingers, Another Note, Saw, or Billy the puppet. I do however own Andy, Cloud, and Near. *ahem* that's a PLUSH Near ;)

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	7. Author's Note Important, please read

**AUTHOR'S NOTE (IMPORTANT)**

Hey guys, Cloud here. I've recently been going through my reviews and such (and again, thank you for the reviews) and I failed to realize how many people actually want me to continue this story. And I apologize, because I myself hate it when authors do not update.

But you see, my dear readers, things have changed.

While I still love Death Note and Salad Fingers and Saw, Andy (my co-writer) and I have parted ways. Forever. Things happen and friendships break.

HOWEVER! I understand that this is _not_ a reason to let down the few people who I can proudly call my "fans!" So here's the deal:

Since I started the story, I have gained _many_ more interests. I now love even more movies and books and anime and manga and such. Also, different people want more "Screen Time" for different characters. So this is where I need YOUR help.

Give me suggestions! Suggest a scenario, a theme, a plot, anything! A love triangle? A yaoi? A gruesome macabre? A comedic relief? Satire? Tragedy? I can completely change up the way the story is headed; I _am _the author after all.

_I just need some inspiration._ YOU! Sitting cross-legged in front of your computer with your head resting on your left hand! GIVE ME IDEAS!

That is all. I hope to hear for you soon so that YOU can hear from me soon. ;)

{~Cloud~}


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